OUT OF OUR ELEMENT with Dan Malossi and Lauren Roedy Vaughn

The Players:

LRV = Lauren Roedy Vaughn

DM = Dan Malossi

LRV: As high school English teachers, Dan and I hear countless excuses. In fact, one of my students approached me on the day an essay was due. 

“I wrote the paper,” she promised. “But my printer was wayyyyyyy on the other side of my room. It was a really long walk, and I didn’t get a lot of sleep. I’m super-tired, okay? So I’ll bring it tomorrow.”

DM: That reads like a lie, right? 

LRV: Yes, but as you know, Dan, when students lie about their work—for the most part—they generally come up with better stories or recycle notable excuses that have proven effective in the past. I knew this student, and she was always forthright. She was telling me the absolute truth. 

DM: Gotta say, I’ve never lived in a home where the acreage between the printer and me became a problem…alas.

LRV: Nor I, nor I…anyway, I tried to metaphorically walk a mile in her shoes. Bear in mind: I’ve no idea how far it actually was from her bed to the printer, but I put myself in her shoes, anyway.

I like exercise, so I’d enjoy the steps I’d get each day in her shoes during long walks doing daily activities around my mansion. After morning coffee, I might start the hike back around to the front of the house and up the thousand steps and down the countless hallways to the spa area where my favorite shower is in the house. Although, the one in the outside cabana near the pool is probably my second favorite. 

DM: This begs the question: is too much space a logistical problem?

LRV: Not for me, though I wondered what she did when she was tired but also hungry, and it was time for dinner and she was in the north wing and dinner was being served in the southern wing. 

DM: Wait. This scenario is likely a non-problem. Someone could bring her dinner, I imagine. Couldn’t someone have delivered her paper to her from the printer?

LRV: Maybe she hadn’t thought of that. Or, maybe she did and some servant who was trying to teach her responsibility and self-respect told her hell-to-the-no. Anyway, I was imagining being in her expensive shoes and all the ins-and-outs of that lifestyle. 

DM: Everyone has problems, right?

LRV: Yes, however, we all do have to show up and participate in the solving of our problems. We have to face them. Yes, some problems are not our fault. She hadn’t consciously chosen to be born into morbid, stultifying wealth. Nonetheless, there she was, and it was in her best interest to show up and deal with the ramifications of life in her corner of the universe. 

DM: I get stuck and make excuses all the time. I set a 2000- word-count goal for the day, but sometimes the daily responsibilities make it tough, so I’ll make an excuse…I’m too tired; I’ll write 4000 tomorrow and it’ll average out…etcetera. I don’t like the way that sounds, even now. I set goals, and there should be no excuses!

LRV: This is not easy to do. We are all stuck in certain ways, and getting unstuck requires facing our reality, accepting it, and taking at least some baby steps in the direction toward growth. Maybe baby steps are all we can take at first. 

DM: I’m having a What About Bob? Moment here…baby steps out the door, baby steps down the stairs…baby steps to no more excuses.

LRV: Yes, that’s something. Even two baby steps forward and one baby step back will eventually get you to that printer…and then to your goal.