OUT OF OUR ELEMENT with Dan Malossi and Lauren Roedy Vaughn

The Players:

LRV = Lauren Roedy Vaughn

DM = Dan Malossi

LRV: I work with students of all ages and with large groups of adults in academic writing workshops. I’m also blessed to have older people in my life whom I love. 

Stay with me…I’m going somewhere with this.  

Being conscientious, I went online and booked a vaccine appointment—working it into a tight schedule—at a local pharmacy. When I showed up, the pharmacist said, “We don’t  have the vaccine you’re scheduled for.” 

I said, “But the website let me sign up for it.”

“Oh yeah. They don’t know our vaccine supply.”

I put my hands on my hips. “Well, why not?”

The pharmacist shrugged: “Sorry.”  

I won’t name this national chain because I don’t know if pharmacy libel laws vary from state to state, like food libel laws. I shall also remain mum on the food industrial complex—for the moment.

I will mention, though, that my father worked for this particular drugstore chain as a pharmacist for much of his career, and I know he’s rolling over in his grave right now. (Suspend disbelief, please, and imagine the dead stay in their graves and retain some type of body they can thusly roll over.) 

My point is, he’d have done all he could to fix/prevent this absurdity. He was an intelligent and practical guy who valued work and liked to see it done right. 

Step one in corporate vaccine delivery: the website scheduling the vaccines should know if the pharmacy delivering the vaccine has any of them. Right? Duh. 

I’m not sure why our world inspires so many of these “Duh” moments. My hunch is we’ve MBA’d the heck out of everything and cut some essential corners. What looks good on a spreadsheet does not necessarily translate well IRL.

No matter the cause, life is better for everyone when the left hand knows what the right hand is doing, and they work in tandem. Can we shake rights and lefts on this? 

In other words, can we bring our metaphorical left hands and right hands together in a bond of some kind of functioning matrimony?

Thinking things through, coordination, and respect for others are values to uphold: in society, in relationships, and partnerships of every kind. Dan, your thoughts? 

DM: Firstly, this story reminds me of the classic Seinfeld bit with the car reservations, hence the sweet meme graphic. 

LRV: Spot on, Dan. My life is a 1990s sitcom.